sigh. i've been thinking of our relationship. i dont know where we stand now. is it strangers or friends or is it even closer friends like how we all used to be before every complicated things happened? can someone just tell me? i'm so lost. idk what to do either. perhaps having heart talks may not even work now. i know i contradict myself with the previous post. idk. everything seems to complex to resolve. even if it may be the simplest problem, it will seem difficult to settle cos we're like strangers now. this is what i see. idk. on the last day of camp, i kept walking in and out of room 68 because i just feel weird staying in there. idk what's with me that day. but as soon as i was in that room, i felt as though i was in another world. i tried staying in there, but my legs just brought me out of the room again. dont ask me why, cos i'll have no answer to it. i really have no idea what's going on. perhaps, my good friend today will be my enemy tmr. but i dont want that to happen, seriously. dearest, we need to resolve this. continuing in this manner will not help cos if this never ends, this friendship will definitely break away. i just dont know what will come next. i'm fearful of what will happen next. it's unpredictable and scary. i dont know if what i've said is what you guys also feel but i just wish that you guys can know how i feel about everything.

i'm also guilty of everything. i apologise for that.
sorry if this post caused more upset in you.
lastly, i still want you all to know that i still love all of you and i've never hated you guys for anything.

dear, i really need you. i wanna cry out my unhappiness.
you know how i felt in class just this year.
and you managed to make me happy and not think about it so much.
now, i just need you to be there for me.
thank you for hearing me out.
thank you for trying to make me laugh.
thank you for the hugs and sweet little messages every single time i was sad.
thank you for everything
i really do appreciate all the little things you've done for me.
i love you.